Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I will pee on everything he values.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
