Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
