Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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