I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize