i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just googled if crying burns calories
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Can you bring me the toilet please
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
