my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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