Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
