and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
