If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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