Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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