marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
