i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
3 2 1 whiskey
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
