i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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