Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
