ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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