I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
