he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize