I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
