Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize