Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
