I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
