what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
