make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
me + whiskey = a bad person
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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