I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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