are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
