YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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