He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
