it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
