ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
