It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
