nut hugger
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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