Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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