Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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