The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
