Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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