I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
