covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
