Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
