you guys were way drunker than both of me
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
