JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
