he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
