He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
