True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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