New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize