Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I will pee on everything he values.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
