she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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