Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
