i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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