I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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