Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
