BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
