she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
