If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
