The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize