after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
