The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
