Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
