Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
