Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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