Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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