well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
