Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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