Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
how does that bad decision feel?
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