whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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