he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
