i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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