Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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