No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
