My liver just broke up with me...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
