: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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