we have pet lesbian snakes
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
