Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
