you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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