ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
