I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
