as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
