hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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