walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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