Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
